When in situations of stress we wonder if there is anymore to give. We can be comforted to know that God, who knows our capacity perfectly, placed us here to succeed. No one was foreordained to fail. Let us remember that we were measured before and were found equal to our tasks. When we feel overwhelmed, let us recall the assurance that God will not over-program us; he will not press upon us more than we can bear.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Funny Husband

Today I was sitting at work at my wonderful desk.. and Todd came in to say hello for a minute. He was at work as well. I asked him how he was doing and what he was up to. He said, "Oh nothing just doing my math." "
"Oh is that fun?"
"No, honey, I hate it, I HATE IT!"
It sounded like he was going to freak out or have a break down. It was so funny just because he was talking about doing math... and I laughed. He did too but then he left and went back to his own office. If you're not laughing, you probably had to be there...

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Las Vegas Temple

This past weekend, my cousin was sealed in the Las Vegas Temple. We went and then afterwards took some sweet pics outside. There's one with us outside the front of the temple. Then the flowers on the outside, it was pretty. Then I was playing around with the camera and took Todd looking sideways with the temple in the back ground... don't ask. But tis funny! Then there is a picture where we just held the camera up and took the pic of ourselves. Then we thought it was funny what my mom was doing while she was taking the pictures and Todd was laughing so we took a picture of her taking pictures of us... go figure!



Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Gibson


This is the picture that Todd got for us. We love it and it makes us happy to know that our son is with his Father in Heaven. We miss him a lot, but we love him and know that that is where he belongs!

Monday, September 17, 2007

Last Monday, Todd came home with a wonderful framed picture. It wasn't this one but it was this idea. It was a picture of Christ with a little boy, and he was holding him, they were kind of cuddling. It made me so happy. He hung it above our dinner table, so now when we are eating, it's like Gibson is there watching over us. It is so great! I also just want to thank all of you for your prayers and support. We really appreciate it and can feel it as we go through the day. Also, Jamie thanks for the AWESOME care package. Seriously! As soon as I can take a bath again, I am totally using very single one of those products, and I'll be slimy for like two days.. lol it'll be awesome! You guys are the best friends I could hope for and I'm so happy to have you in our lives. Also, Congrats again Janell, he is simply adorable!

Monday, September 10, 2007

Our Little Angel

Friday September 7, 2007 was the day of our ward camp out. We were so excited to finally get out and go camping. It was a great night, we had dutch oven and hung out with all of our great ward members. As the night was dying down, as was the fire, we were sitting around the small fire with a few other couples just enjoying the time. I was starting to feel a pain where the baby was so I stood up thinking that it was just a cramp from me sitting too long in a crouching position. It didn’t stop. It would come for a minute then leave. I kept talking hoping it would go away but it only started to get worse. Finally I told Todd, let’s go to bed I’m in some pain.

I was hoping that lying down would make it feel better. By the time we got to our tent, it was getting much worse. I asked Todd for a blessing. After he found some oil he and our bishop gave me a blessing. A few minutes after that my pains stopped, but a gush of fluid came out of me. I later found out that this is when my water broke. Those pains happened to be contractions. I was very scared. I had no idea what to do and there was no blood anywhere. So I had Todd go and get a nurse that is in our ward. She came and checked me out and told us to get to the hospital right away.

So Todd and I rushed back to town leaving all of our camping gear and bedding on the mountain. We got to the hospital and they gave me an ultrasound. They found the baby’s heart beat so I wasn’t incredibly worried at that point, which is actually a blessing. So we went home and went to bed, since it was or why it did. It was around 1:30 in the morning and we were very tired. I was told not to get up and just to rest in bed until I could see my doctor. Fortunately, my doctor was in his office on Saturday. If he hadn’t been there we would have had to wait until Monday which would have really bothered me.

We went to his office around 3:00 that afternoon. He did another ultrasound on me to see if he could figure out what was wrong with me. This time, there was no heart beat. My water had broken and sometime in the night, my baby had died because of the lack of fluid. My doctor couldn’t explain what happened One of the first things he said to me was, “You did nothing wrong. This just happened. There was nothing you could do to change it because you were doing just what you should have been doing.” This was such a comfort to me. He told me that we needed to remove the baby, but a D&C (which is a surgery) wouldn’t work because the baby was too big. So later that night, at 8:00, we went to the hospital so he could put sterilized medical seaweed into my cervix so we could open it up and so I could deliver the baby the next morning. I was supposed to go to the hospital at 6:30 so they could speed up the process.

That was one of the most painful things I have ever had to go through. There was absolutely no medication for me and the shoved two sticks of seaweed into an opening that had never been opened. The seaweed was there to soak up fluid so that they would absorb and become bigger, therefore opening my cervix. They did this because of the natural salt in the seaweed. He then gave us a pill to take right when I went to bed that night to start my body contracting so that I would be able to deliver.

I took the pill and tried to sleep. As soon as I took the pill, the cramping began. I would try to sleep but the pain would come right at that brink. Around 2:30 I woke Todd up because I was hurting so badly. They were getting very painful and I couldn’t handle it alone. They were getting so bad that I ran to the bathroom and had to throw up. We were going to the hospital. We got there around 3:00 and when we got there I had realized that I was bleeding pretty badly. They called the doctor and he came right away, I was ready to deliver. They finally gave me some narcotics in my IV and that helped so much! They prepped me by the time the doctor had arrived. He came in and asked how I was doing, and then proceeded to help me deliver this baby. Suddenly he asked me to give him a push, I had no idea we were to that point yet. I gave one push and the baby was out. Then he asked me to push again to get the placenta out, he was worried that it would be too small and we would have to do a D&C to get it out. Luckily with one push the whole placenta came out as well and it was almost over. He cleaned me out just a little bit more and then they finally let me rest. The medication was in full swing at this point and I was so tired I could barely tell what was going on around me. They cleaned everything up and Todd was there to talk to me and see how I was doing. I don’t really remember much else.

Before I delivered, I asked them if I could see the baby, so the doctor let me know that when I was more awake and alert, I could see him (the baby was a boy) whenever I wanted for however long I wanted. But at that point I needed to get some rest. All of the nurses left and Todd and I were in the room alone. I was so tired though I couldn’t concentrate. He tried to sleep on the couch that was in the room with us that converted into a bed. I was trying to get some good sleep but I had a blood pressure cuff on my arm that would check me every 15 minutes. It was the worst sleep I’ve ever gotten! Seriously! Finally at 7:00 the medication had worn off and I was awake. The nurse came in to check on us and I asked if we could see our little boy.

She told me that he was very fragile and she just needed to know if I was ok emotionally to see him. I thought I was just fine. Todd woke up and came over and we prepared ourselves for something we had never had to do before. The nurse brought in a little tray with some cloths in it. She put it on my lap and I had to unwrap him. He was so perfect. He hands were so precious along with his feet. He was only 6 inches long and 6 0z. We spent about an hour with him just admiring him and wishing we could hold him and take him home with us. We decided that we wanted to give him a name. Todd said that he looked like he was a guitar player because of his well formed hands so we decided to name him Gibson. Gibson is our angel. He won’t be able to be with us in this life, but I know that he is waiting for us with our Heavenly Father. We miss him and love him dearly. Keep us in your prayers because this time is not the easiest right now. Just know that our son is perfect and absolutely beautiful and we love him and can’t wait to take care of him!

Monday, September 03, 2007

15 weeks!

So I decided that I was just so dang excited to be a mom and to have a baby that I just had to kiss Todd and let him know how happy I was... hehe and then he took this picture of me. This is how big I am right now.. I'm not trying to poke out my stomach.. in fact, I can't suck in or anything, my stomach muscles hurt so much right now.. Just sitting down I'm sore, it's weird because it feels like I've done sit-ups, but in all actuality, I've done the exact opposite. We find out in four weeks if it's a girl or boy. It will be Sept. 25th, such a magical day! :)