CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!

Man the past few weeks have been absolutely nuts! First, Lily and I drove to California and were away from Todd for almost a whole week! (The longest we have ever spent apart from one another). The day that we were driving home, Todd's mom had surgery for the second time in a month. She has breast cancer and she had surgery a week before we went on our trip but they found more that worried them in the lymph nodes, so she got to go through all of that again! It's so sad that she had to have TWO surgeries. Well the first time Todd's sister drove out here for a week to help her with everything, which was so awesome of her! This time no one could make it to come help her, so I definitely volunteered for the job! The day after I got back Lily and I came over and proceeded to get her food, make sure she took her meds, made her comfortable and kept her company. So this week I have basically lived at Todd's mom's house. It's been fine, but I just realized how much I miss being home! I miss having a schedule of my usual stuff I do. So it's been a little hard bouncing from one place to the next. Now tonight our ward is having a soup social and hopefully by tomorrow I can stay at home just a little bit longer than I have this week! Todd's mom is doing much better than she was earlier this week and I hope recovery keeps going the way it has been. We're just praying that she doesn't have to go through anything so traumatic again!

Trip to California

Well Lily and I made the trek to the San Francisco Bay area last week with my parents. It was a very fun trip and a much needed time out of Utah for a few days. It was Lily's first trip out of the state and my grandpa's 80th surprise birthday bash. It was a lot of fun and a lot happened, but unfortunately I don't have all of the pictures I wanted yet so maybe in the next little while I'll be able to get a good post up!

Have you ever just looked at yourself? Stood in front of a mirror and really truly looked at yourself? I've been doing this a lot lately especially going through the journey I've been going on. I feel like my whole life I've just been looking out of rose colored glasses and now they have been ripped off with a vengeance! It's hard to look at yourself and see what is truly there, not just what you think is there. I've never thought that I was fat, because I've gone off of others' comments and spoken opinions. That wasn't very smart because everyone was just trying to be nice, which I really do appreciate looking back. I mentally see myself as I did in middle school, skinny and "healthy". I never really LOOKED at myself. I've been taking all of these classes at my gym and the room that it's held in has a huge mirror along the wall and you can't help but look at yourself as you work out. I look at myself and I look at all the other people around me and I realize what I've become. I haven't cared for so long that now that I care and can see what's there, it seems completely overwhelming! I am more in tune to what I've feeling and what I'm doing, but it's completely disheartening. I've been changing so much this past year, I feel like a completely different person. I feel like I don't know who I'm looking at anymore.

This process is the hardest thing I have ever done! I am fighting against myself. I can debate against anyone to get my way, but now I am fighting against myself, what a crappy fight! I just want to yell at the top of my lungs and just say that I have the habits that I want and I have the life that I want. It is a challenge to get up every day. It's a challenge to go to the gym. It's a challenge not to eat the cookie, hamburger, ice cream... etc. It's such a challenge that I believe I'm failing. I try to say, take each day at a time, but even that becomes too much! I have always loved how I felt when I truly live healthy, but it's remembering that when the temptation is right there in front of me. I look all around me and I see all of these people who have been very successful in losing weight. They are just shedding away, while I stay right where I am because of stupid choices. I've been working with so many WONDERFUL people trying to reach my goals but I feel as soon as I go home, I sit down, turn on the TV, and there goes another day! Why is it so hard to be active?! I hate people that watch TV all day! I've been discovering all the things I hate about other people, are the real qualities in me that I don't want to face! Why do I judge those people? It's because I don't want to look at myself so it's so much easier to just place it on someone else! Is it worth just giving up and going back to my old lifestyle? Sometimes I think that it might be... but I know in my heart that it's not, that's what makes it suck so bad!

Decoration!

Before...
After!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've had this planned out for a LONG time and I FINALLY got around doing it! I LOVE it! Can you tell I'm excited about it? hehe I think it is so stinking cute and I can't get enough of it! What do you think?!

What Lily likes to do!

Help Daddy Baby-Proof the house, I'm sure she'll regret that later...
To Color!!!!!!!!!!!! Lily LOVES to color! She always has! I tried to hide the crayons from her, but she found them and anytime she saw them she would get mad that we wouldn't give them to her. The only problem with that is she doesn't always like to color the paper... Is there anyone else's child that LOVES to color as much as she does? I have a feeling she's going to be an artist because she loves to dance too! Aww man!

Time for a Change

Well as most of you have seen on Facebook, I'm starting a challenge to better myself. I've finally decided this is more important that food. Food has always been a challenge for me. I just LOVE to eat. That's a good thing, but I love to eat unhealthy food! I've always been overweight and I've finally decided I'm tired of being that way. Now I know that I've been on a health kick for the past year now, but I haven't always been that great about my nutrition and food. I want this more than anything right now. I am completely determined to become healthy. I don't even have a weight in mind right now, but I really just want to be successful in losing weight and keeping it off. In turn, I want to share this with my family. I want Lily to be healthy and to want to eat healthy food. Yesterday I was at the grocery store and there was a mother there with her two sons and they were buying Lunchables (which isn't the healthiest choice in the first place) and she was asking her sons, "Do you want the one with the chocolate or the one with skittles?" I thought to myself, you know I want to be asking my kids if they want an apple or a banana not chocolate or skittles. I know that kids are going to want that, but I've seen it with my nieces and nephews, they love healthy food! It's funny how that happens. They completely go from your lead. Well so far, I've lost almost 3 lbs and 2 inches. I don't know how that happened, but I like it!!!!!!!!! If you want any information about how I'm doing this let me know, it's quite simple really! Hopefully I can show you some awesome after pictures here real soon!

Mickey Mouse Clubhouse

This is Lily's new obsession. She LOVES this show! It is fun, she loves the music and thinks that it's fun. It's not too bad a show to listen to, but it still gets old just like any other kid show...

New Years

This year for New Years, we were able to go to Ogden and visit with a friend/bandmate of Todd's from High school. It was fun to hang out and spend some time with them. It had been a long time since we had seen him and it was nice to just have a good time and not have to worry about what was coming next. We were able to stay at my Brother's house and visit with them as well. On Saturday, Todd's sister and brother-in-law was gracious enough to watch Lily while we attended the temple. It had been a few months since that happened, so it was nice to be able to go without a time constraint. Now that we've traveled all over the state, we're going to just stay at home for a while. These pictures are of Lily playing at my Brother's house and Todd and I outside of the Jordan River Temple.

Finally.... Our Christmas

The week before, at Tucanos :)
Christmas Morning Spoils
Christmas Eve, The tree with all of the presents there
Christmas Night, the WHOLE family!
The week before Christmas, Todd's whole family was able to come and visit in Cedar City. Todd took the whole week off and we were able to go to SLC with them to go see the Temple Square Lights, go to Tucanos, and just spend time together. Unfortunately, I got sick for the first two days, and then after that Lily got sick... It wasn't too much fun, but it was good to see everyone. We had a blast hanging out and playing games with those that we love and miss! This hardly ever happens for his family since there are siblings who live in California and Oklahoma. The only person that we were missing was Todd's brother David who is serving his mission right now. But we got to talk to him on the phone on Christmas Day. We really had a Merry Christmas! We can't believe it's already over!

Basically she's top heavy...

Today I took Lily to the doctor for her 15 month check up and because she's been sick the past week. Her statistics are...
Weight: 20 lbs 14 oz 20%
Height: 28.25 in. 4%
Head Circumference: 19 in. 97%


If you go by this, she looks really funny! hehe No wonder she's had a hard time starting to walk! LOL!

We painted!

Before...
AFTER! We got the couch and chair along with another table all for $150 that's right! The couch has two recliners built in and the chair is a recliner as well. AND they are leather! We love them! They were just too good a deal to pass up! They are really the true reason why we painted and we LOVE the paint now. It makes our house feel much higher end! Love it! Plus it cost us a total of $10 to achieve this look, yes ma'am!

Christmas Party

This past weekend was my family's Christmas Party. It was SO much fun! It was so good to just hang out and visit with my family. Lily was given her first chocolate covered pretzel. Man she was a fan! hehe. She also helped Todd and I build her first snowman, but she really liked the blow-up snowman in my parent's yard. She has officially started walking and is all over the place now. But she's still herself and is a wonderful child. I really don't think I could ask for a better baby. I worry about how the next one will be though... hehe.

WALKING!

Well it has begun! Lily is starting to walk. So far she's only taken about four or five steps, but that's pretty good! I'm getting excited, but am not looking forward to having to really chase her down. I'll try to get some videos of her and post them up! Man she's so cute!

I LOVE THIS SHOW!

Have I ever said how much I LOVE this show?! It completely motivates me to change my life! The way it helps so many people to become healthy and make great choices when it comes to health! Oh! I just get emotional every week! It's one of my most favorite things that happens every week! If you've never seen it, I truly suggest you watch it! LOVE IT!

I'm thankful for family!

For thanksgiving this year, we went to Milford to be with Todd's extended family and to see his grandpa. We took our camera, but go figure, we totally forgot to take any pictures! We had such a great time! We love the Livingston family! (That is Todd's cousins). Lily had such a great time playing with all the kids and running around the gym. The food was SO SO SO SO good! Homemade rolls, delicious turkey, and wonderful pies! Oh Thanksgiving is truly amazing! Now I get to enjoy the Christmas season! I absolutely love this time of year! And is snowed, what a great welcome to this time of year!

Woes of and Unwelcome Ward

I've been having a tough time with our ward. We've lived here for almost three months, and I hardly know anyone! We went to our last ward for only three months and we knew about half the ward. It's been hard for me. Every week in Relief Society I sit alone. This past week there were a couple of ladies behind me talking about New Moon so I turned to ask them about it and talk to them about it, and they just looked at me like, "Why are you talking to us?!" I felt horrible! Now this next week I supposed to be speaking in sacrament meeting about loving your neighbor... oh great! I just got called to be a primary teacher and will probably have an even HARDER time getting to know people in my ward. I feel like I'm not even welcome most of the time. Or that we're just too weird for people to talk to. It's hard! I've come home multiple times just in tears because I feel so out of place. I miss having friends in a ward. I miss having friends period... I've really tried to be friendly and try to meet people, it's HARD! Hopefully things will change soon...

Weekend of Excellence!

Rulon Gardner, an Olympic gold medal winner in wrestling speaking about overcoming the obstacles in our lives! What a powerful story he has!
Me, My sister-in-law Carol and cousin Jolean! We had such a good time and truly were enriched as people this weekend!
Me and beautiful Carol! I love her!
Me and Jolean partying at the training! This weekend was absolutely amazing guys! I went for a few different reasons! 1- I'm always looking for a way to grow my business, 2- I wanted to get to know those members of my team better, and 3- It's so much fun!!!!!!!!!!!! The information I learned this weekend, I truly don't think I could find that quality of information anywhere that didn't have the spirit follow it! It was all about taking care of yourself and KNOWING who you are! I've decided I haven't figured that out yet! I am on a search within myself to figure out who I can become and what potential I hold! I'm truly on the path to better myself and I'm going to take anyone that is willing to go through the difficult obstacle of finding yourself with me! I truly think that this company and product is exactly what I needed to find myself and empower myself. The thing that I love is that I can do this from my home guys! I get to be a mother to my beautiful daughter Lily AND make a paycheck! I don't feel completely hopeless! What an amazing weekend guys! I can't even EXPLAIN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Beware of the Posts!

I just put up a bunch of posts, I've been meaning to put a few up but it hasn't happened for a while...

The Evolution of the Facial Hair

Half way there!
SICK SICK SICK SICK! I wouldn't even kiss him like that... so gross!

Much better!!!!!!!!!!! We were so tired of his facial hair! It was so nice when he shaved! He looked so much better, yes a little different than I had been used to, but I liked it a lot better! As you can tell....

Fun at the park!

Oh look a camera!
Playing with the playground piano!
She loved that car! It was better than one in front of a supermarket!