Our Little Angel

Friday September 7, 2007 was the day of our ward camp out. We were so excited to finally get out and go camping. It was a great night, we had dutch oven and hung out with all of our great ward members. As the night was dying down, as was the fire, we were sitting around the small fire with a few other couples just enjoying the time. I was starting to feel a pain where the baby was so I stood up thinking that it was just a cramp from me sitting too long in a crouching position. It didn’t stop. It would come for a minute then leave. I kept talking hoping it would go away but it only started to get worse. Finally I told Todd, let’s go to bed I’m in some pain.

I was hoping that lying down would make it feel better. By the time we got to our tent, it was getting much worse. I asked Todd for a blessing. After he found some oil he and our bishop gave me a blessing. A few minutes after that my pains stopped, but a gush of fluid came out of me. I later found out that this is when my water broke. Those pains happened to be contractions. I was very scared. I had no idea what to do and there was no blood anywhere. So I had Todd go and get a nurse that is in our ward. She came and checked me out and told us to get to the hospital right away.

So Todd and I rushed back to town leaving all of our camping gear and bedding on the mountain. We got to the hospital and they gave me an ultrasound. They found the baby’s heart beat so I wasn’t incredibly worried at that point, which is actually a blessing. So we went home and went to bed, since it was or why it did. It was around 1:30 in the morning and we were very tired. I was told not to get up and just to rest in bed until I could see my doctor. Fortunately, my doctor was in his office on Saturday. If he hadn’t been there we would have had to wait until Monday which would have really bothered me.

We went to his office around 3:00 that afternoon. He did another ultrasound on me to see if he could figure out what was wrong with me. This time, there was no heart beat. My water had broken and sometime in the night, my baby had died because of the lack of fluid. My doctor couldn’t explain what happened One of the first things he said to me was, “You did nothing wrong. This just happened. There was nothing you could do to change it because you were doing just what you should have been doing.” This was such a comfort to me. He told me that we needed to remove the baby, but a D&C (which is a surgery) wouldn’t work because the baby was too big. So later that night, at 8:00, we went to the hospital so he could put sterilized medical seaweed into my cervix so we could open it up and so I could deliver the baby the next morning. I was supposed to go to the hospital at 6:30 so they could speed up the process.

That was one of the most painful things I have ever had to go through. There was absolutely no medication for me and the shoved two sticks of seaweed into an opening that had never been opened. The seaweed was there to soak up fluid so that they would absorb and become bigger, therefore opening my cervix. They did this because of the natural salt in the seaweed. He then gave us a pill to take right when I went to bed that night to start my body contracting so that I would be able to deliver.

I took the pill and tried to sleep. As soon as I took the pill, the cramping began. I would try to sleep but the pain would come right at that brink. Around 2:30 I woke Todd up because I was hurting so badly. They were getting very painful and I couldn’t handle it alone. They were getting so bad that I ran to the bathroom and had to throw up. We were going to the hospital. We got there around 3:00 and when we got there I had realized that I was bleeding pretty badly. They called the doctor and he came right away, I was ready to deliver. They finally gave me some narcotics in my IV and that helped so much! They prepped me by the time the doctor had arrived. He came in and asked how I was doing, and then proceeded to help me deliver this baby. Suddenly he asked me to give him a push, I had no idea we were to that point yet. I gave one push and the baby was out. Then he asked me to push again to get the placenta out, he was worried that it would be too small and we would have to do a D&C to get it out. Luckily with one push the whole placenta came out as well and it was almost over. He cleaned me out just a little bit more and then they finally let me rest. The medication was in full swing at this point and I was so tired I could barely tell what was going on around me. They cleaned everything up and Todd was there to talk to me and see how I was doing. I don’t really remember much else.

Before I delivered, I asked them if I could see the baby, so the doctor let me know that when I was more awake and alert, I could see him (the baby was a boy) whenever I wanted for however long I wanted. But at that point I needed to get some rest. All of the nurses left and Todd and I were in the room alone. I was so tired though I couldn’t concentrate. He tried to sleep on the couch that was in the room with us that converted into a bed. I was trying to get some good sleep but I had a blood pressure cuff on my arm that would check me every 15 minutes. It was the worst sleep I’ve ever gotten! Seriously! Finally at 7:00 the medication had worn off and I was awake. The nurse came in to check on us and I asked if we could see our little boy.

She told me that he was very fragile and she just needed to know if I was ok emotionally to see him. I thought I was just fine. Todd woke up and came over and we prepared ourselves for something we had never had to do before. The nurse brought in a little tray with some cloths in it. She put it on my lap and I had to unwrap him. He was so perfect. He hands were so precious along with his feet. He was only 6 inches long and 6 0z. We spent about an hour with him just admiring him and wishing we could hold him and take him home with us. We decided that we wanted to give him a name. Todd said that he looked like he was a guitar player because of his well formed hands so we decided to name him Gibson. Gibson is our angel. He won’t be able to be with us in this life, but I know that he is waiting for us with our Heavenly Father. We miss him and love him dearly. Keep us in your prayers because this time is not the easiest right now. Just know that our son is perfect and absolutely beautiful and we love him and can’t wait to take care of him!