Alright y'all, I've decided that it's time to get real with all y'all! In this virtual world of blogging and facebooking and whatever else there is, I try to show that I'm a happy, carefree person who loves every aspect of her life, and wouldn't have it any different, but you know what, I'm sick of doing that! Now I'm not saying that I hate my life or I want to leave or anything drastic like that, but I am going to say that I need to do some adjusting!
The past week or so, it's been rough for me! I realized that I have no real big goals in my life to accomplish. There is nothing right in front of me to grab or work towards and I don't know how well I can handle that. I've always been a person that has pushed herself and wants to feel accomplished. This time last year it was learning how to be a mother. I had to just get through the day without crying. Then in January it was finishing my degree. I had to work towards each assignment or day of class. Being away from Lily wasn't easy, but for me it was worth the hard work! Within that time, I decided that I was going to better myself and lose weight! That has been a journey of it's own that I'll talk about later. Once I got the degree then it was time for rest! I needed to take time out for me and that's just what I did.
Well now, I have NOTHING! What am I working towards?! I have no deadline to keep me going! If I don't get something done one day, that's fine I can just do it tomorrow. I keep doing that until before I know it it's been a week and it still hasn't been done. I have just been laying here on my couch, lonely, tired, bored, and completely and utterly unmotivated! Lily has been sick and I've been taking care of her, but I have also used that excuse to not do anything as well. I can't seem to get myself out of this FUNK! Todd comes home and asks what I did today, well nothing... I can't answer him when he asks that. It's tough being home all day with a one-year-old. Don't get me wrong, I love being a mother! I love being the person that Lily wants to play with! I love playing with her! But for some reason I don't feel accomplished in that aspect.
Since it's been getting colder, it's been harder for me to get out of the house. I used to go on a walk every day and I think it's been at least a month since that has happened now. I get bored doing workout routines in my house. I like to add spice to that and there's only so much you can do on your stairs for a workout! I felt empowered when I first started this journey! I loved being active and getting into shape, I still love the feeling after a good work out, but I still lack the motivation to TRULY push myself into working hard at what I am doing. I've been trying to find crafts or something to that effect to do, but that can get expensive and I'm not very good at finding my way around the store and I usually only leave with about half of what I intended to get in the first place. I need to boost myself up and become the person who I want to be again! Am I the only mother who feels like this?! Because honestly that's how I feel!
9 comments:
You are definitely not alone!
I know how you feel too! That was definitely one of the hardest parts of finishing school for me. I was like, 'what am I supposed to do now??' You should probably come move next door to me. Then we can motivate each other ;)
You don't know how much I would LOVE that! Maybe one day! But then we'll have like 10 kids and no time anyway!
Oh trust me I feel like that all the time...you know when a kid only bables back to you and wont take a nap and you just want to sit and cry because you want some time for yourself...Well lets see what could Christie do...why don't you start making charts for each day of the week of things you want to get done that day so then you can work towards it and cross them off. When you get so many done you can give yourself points and once you get so many points you can buy a workout video or something...I'll even come over and do the video with you if it helps and maybe I'll get Lisa to do it too...
I'm not a Mom, but I definitely feel the FUNK more often than I would like. My problem is that I don't know when my family is going to start and so my progression is at a stand still. Not working on being an awesome Mom, not continuing my education, not working in my field... blech!! I think you're super awesome for all that you have accomplished and all that you continue to work on. It is obvious that you are an AWESOME Mom in the way that you interact with Lili. Keep your head up and know that you aren't alone!
We miss seeing you guys.
Love,
Bridget
Thank you Bridget! I truly think that was my problem, so I've been working on at least trying to work towards something!
I've been meaning to comment on this post, so here we go! I live a rather monotonous life. I have to ask myself if I am even looking to spice things up. I tend to say, "when life takes me to this point, then i will do..." It's hard to find motivation. Right now my goal is to finish my BA, but you've already done that. It can be "boring" being a mom sometimes. I guess you can find and develop your talents. I need to work on that. And, I like the idea mentioned above about making a checklist. I was going to start one the other day! Exercise, house chores, service, scripture study, meals, etc. At least it would make my days feel accomplished. I'm rambling. Good luck and hang in there!
Christie, I tend to think a lot of us "moms" feel this way, more than we own up to. I'm home with 3 kids, I live way out in the middle of no where and don't have neighbors. It's hard some days to get out of my lounge pants and sweatshirt. When hubby comes home, he knows better than to ask me what I did - but some days I know he is well aware that I did NOTHING. It takes all I can sometimes just to get breakfast and lunch done and everyone dressed, give em snacks and try to get a nap in for them. Oh and then sometime in there I'd like to take a shower and get dressed. It's important to just take some "me time" when your hubby gets home. Even if it's to cry, nap, read a book, listen to a song, go on a walk to the mailbox, whatever. Take that 5 minutes and try to re charge yourself. K, that's about all the time I have for that.... one just woke up and the other two are calling my name! Lean on your friends!! That's what we're here for.
Thanks everyone! The encouragement really does help! I'm learning a few tricks to keep me going, and it's helping! I think I was just struggling because I was STUCK in the house for a week!
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