What Makes a Mother

I found this on a friend's blog and it just really touched me! I have been thinking of my Gibson a lot lately and I miss him so much! I read this and I knew that it is so true! I am in tears as I type this and I know that I will have Gibson again one day, but between now and then is not always easy. ..

What makes a Mother
.
I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a Mother...
And I know I heard him say.
A Mother has a baby
This we know is true.
But God can you be a Mother
When your baby's not with you?
Yes, you can He replied
With confidence in His voice
I give many women babies
When they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime
And others for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb
But there's no need to stay.
I just don't understand this, God
I want my baby here
He took a breath and cleared His throat
And then I saw a tear.
I wish I could show you
What your child is doing today.
If you could see your child smile
With other children and say
"We go to earth and learn our lessons
Of love and life and fear.
My Mommy loved me oh so much
I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a Mom
Who had so much love for me
I learned my lesson very quickly
My Mommy set me free.
I miss my Mommy oh so much
But I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep
On her pillow's where I lay.
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
And whisper in her ear
"Mommy don't be sad today
I'm your baby and I'm here."
So you see my dear sweet one
Your children are OK
Your babies are here in My home
And this is where they'll stay.
They'll wait for you with me
Until your lesson is through
And on the day that you come home
They'll be at the gates for you.
So now you see what makes a Mother
It's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start.
(Jennifer Wasik)

Lily's First Hair Cut

What's that?! Oh yeah! I got a hair cut!
Before the cut... very straggly and lots of different lengths. If you notice, she had the mullet thing going on.
Side view right after the cut! You can already tell there's no mullet to be seen!
What it looks like now. The angles aren't that great and we barely even took like an inch off, but I personally think it looks SO much better! Plus it's more curly now and super cute!
Plus, I took about 6 inches off of my hair too... I love it! Great way to start off the summer!

Lily's First Horsey Ride

Today Todd took Lily on her first Horsey Ride. She thought it was hilarious! She was laughing so hard it was adorable! We would ask her what a horse says and she would say "neigh!" and then Todd would go back up on his legs and she kept almost falling off and it was so cute! It was a classic moment at the Fisher house! hehe

Mother's Day

This year, my mother's day was extended! I loved it! Saturday Todd and I went on a date, but before we left for our date, Lily gave me "her" present for mother's day. It was three beautiful pink roses and a card where she "signed" her name. She was so excited to give it to me, it was so adorable! Todd and I went and saw Iron Man 2... guess who picked the movie... hehe. Our awesome neighbors watched Lily for us, it was nice to be alone for a couple of hours.

Sunday, Todd let me sleep in before church, which is always a battle of who gets to sleep in on sundays... hehe. I then walked downstairs to get something to eat, and on the table was the pink roses that Lily gave me plus a dozen red ones! So cute! Then, next to that was a card on top of The Biggest Loser Family Cookbook! Can I just tell you how excited I am about that! I have been looking for healthy recipes for a long time and am never really quite sure how healthy something truly is. I'm excited to KNOW that what I'm making for dinner is healthy. Plus the recipes look delicious and not too weird! hehe. It was one of the best presents Todd has given for a while so I'm pretty excited about it! I only had to change one diaper yesterday and Todd did all the dishes! I love him!
I hope you all had a great mother's day! I know it was a great day for me!

My New Life

One of my beautiful friends shared this video on their blog, I couldn't go without sharing it as well! It is such a powerful story, but it is something we all need to remember. As I listen to this story I can't help by think about the darkest times in my life and when I felt my Heavenly Father there on my right hand and on my left. I am overwhelmed with the love of my Father in Heaven. I feel like I've been complaining too much lately and I feel that this has kind of brought me back the right perspective. I know that I am loved! I know that He is there when I most need him. I have experienced this and there is no peace like that given from the spirit of the gospel. If you are struggling with anything, I encourage you to get on your knees and express your feelings to your Heavenly Father, you will never regret it!

The Piano

This is our new piano! Guess how much we paid for it, $0 yeah that's right... it was FREE! My sister got it from a past relationship but she was moving to a smaller place and needed to get rid of it. I offered to buy it but my sister is awesome and decided to just GIVE it to us! I LOVE it! It is not perfect, there are a few chips a bruises but who cares, we got it for FREE! Two of the three pedals are broken off so we need to get those fixed but that's really all we need to do. It's AWESOME! It's Lily's new favorite toy!

Cricut

So I've never really been huge on crafts but I've always enjoyed doing scrapbooking! After we got our tax return I was able to talk Todd into letting me get a Cricut! I am so excited about it! I'm also part of a card group and I figure I'll make all my money back by how many cards I'm gonna make with this thing! I don't have to buy stickers anymore either! Woo Hoo! I really want to find some vinyl you can cut out and put on your walls so I can do some decorating... Anyone know where I can find any of that around here?

What has been happening in our yard

This is what it looked like when we moved in, we did some work by hand and put a lot of it in piles. You can see that picture on Facebook.
Backyard before we got the machinery.
After! Frontyard
Backyard after! It took a good solid 7 hours on the bobcat to make it look like this. Doesn't it look so much better?!

How our week has turned out so far!

We're definitely going to be getting that bed rail going here soon!

Guess who's a big girl!

Today is a day that will live in infamy. Today is the day that I took down Lily's crib and set up her big girl bed. I can't believe that she's old enough to have a regular bed, but I'm not going to lie I'm pretty excited about this! Yet with that excitement, I'm worried about how the next week will go with her sleeping schedule. Tonight went well but she had also fallen asleep in the car on the way home. Wish us luck!

Easter Weekend

This weekend was definitely a busy one! It started for us on Thursday when Todd's sister April drove to Cedar to surprise her mom. Friday we headed to Milford to go visit more family. Friday started out GREAT because we got our tax return!!!!! So we got to pay off all of our debts except our house of course. Then we got to go shopping! The TV we had at our house was Todd's mom's so we decided we should buy one for ourselves. Then we needed a new vacuum as well so we bought one of those too, plus our camera pooped out on us a few months ago, so we went ahead an purchased one of those too. It was a busy day, but man was it great to finally have things to call our own.
Saturday as filled with Easter goodness. We had an Easter Egg hunt just with the grand kids (Lily, Robbie, and Taylor.) Robbie is just 10 days younger than Lily and Taylor is 5. Lily and Robbie caught on to the easter egg hunt rather quickly. They had a blast! They were enjoying the candy as well. Then we were able to dye some eggs and then enjoy a nice birthday dinner for Todd and April. Their birthdays aren't until next week but since we were all together, we thought we might as well celebrate it!
Sunday we woke up to the Easter Bunny's gifts. Lily thought that was amazing. Then we said goodbye to all the family and decided we should probably get home to watch some General Conference. Luckily we have DVR and were able to record it all weekend. We weren't able to view it as well as we would have liked with all the family here, so we're going to concentrate on it when we can actually listen to what is being taught. All in all it was a fabulous weekend and we had a blast!

18 months!

I just love this little one! She is getting so big! According to the doctor's measurements, in the past 3 months she has grown 3 inches. No wonder she's been sleeping so much! Her statistics are her weight is almost 22 lbs (16%) height is 31 inch (38%) and her head circumference is 19 in (91%). They have all slightly changed from the last appointment. She's so wonderful! I just love her!

Bountiful Baskets!

I don't know if you guys have ever heard of the food co-op called bountiful baskets. It's all over Utah, Arizona, Idaho, California plus some! It's completely ran by volunteers and people get online every Monday or Tuesday and pay $15 for your order. The general organizers see how many orders they need to fill each week and then because they have such big orders they are able to get produce and the same price a grocery store would purchase it. Then because it's all ran by volunteers, those who order get it for that price as well. You pick it up on the next Saturday. It's different every week and you a TON of food! I've been doing it now for the past month or so and I LOVE it! All this food in the picture cost me only $15! There is no way I could get this much at the store for that price! Plus I get veggies and fruits that I've never tried so I get a new experience with it as well! You guys should really check it out and see if there is a site where you live. Just go to www.bountifulbaskets.org and check it out! This past weekend while I was gone Todd picked it up for me and then sent me this fabulous picture... I guess his mom never taught him to not play with his food! :)

Taste of Summer!

This past Saturday Todd and I were able to go to the temple while my brother and his family watched Lily. We then went to the Washington Rec Center to their pool and played. It is such a cool pool! It's way too much fun! We were there for four hours! Way fun! Then we went to my brother's house and had dinner and played some monopoly card style. A super fun game by the way. It's basically fast paced monopoly! It was such a good day and we had a blast! The two kids in the picture with Lily are Kourtnee and Bubba my niece and nephew! They love Lily and she loves them!

She's been busy!

So Lily has been SO busy lately!
She just runs in our family room back and forth back and forth!
She's gotten so tired of being inside lately. She gets so excited when I tell her to get her jacket, because she knows we're going outside!
Today I was cleaning the kitchen and she came in and grabbed the broom from me and went away at the floor. I hope that sticks! Yeah right!
She is becoming so funny! She'll tell you what certain animals say, such as the elephant, monkey, cow, snake, lion/tiger, dog and duck. A lot of times that's how she'll distinguish between the animals, it's so fun to watch her learn.
She loves the wonder pets, dora, and mickey mouse clubhouse.
She loves to get into the fridge, if she hears you open it, watch out she's coming!
She's obsessed with pushing buttons (obviously loves the lap top I'm on right now).
She's already starting to try and put her own shoes and socks on, she'll sit and try to do that for at least 20 min at a time.
As I've been sitting here typing this up she got into our cabinet and got out some cereal and brought it to me so I could give it to her. She's hilarious!
She LOVES to eat, if she has just eaten and you start eating, she'll still beg!
She's learning to CLIMB on things... not a big fan of that! I'll walk into the kitchen and find her on the table... not so fun for mom!

We love her! She really is the light of our lives! Lately she's been kind of ornery and I think it's a precursor for the terrible twos. But I'm just hoping it's a short phase...

CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!

Man the past few weeks have been absolutely nuts! First, Lily and I drove to California and were away from Todd for almost a whole week! (The longest we have ever spent apart from one another). The day that we were driving home, Todd's mom had surgery for the second time in a month. She has breast cancer and she had surgery a week before we went on our trip but they found more that worried them in the lymph nodes, so she got to go through all of that again! It's so sad that she had to have TWO surgeries. Well the first time Todd's sister drove out here for a week to help her with everything, which was so awesome of her! This time no one could make it to come help her, so I definitely volunteered for the job! The day after I got back Lily and I came over and proceeded to get her food, make sure she took her meds, made her comfortable and kept her company. So this week I have basically lived at Todd's mom's house. It's been fine, but I just realized how much I miss being home! I miss having a schedule of my usual stuff I do. So it's been a little hard bouncing from one place to the next. Now tonight our ward is having a soup social and hopefully by tomorrow I can stay at home just a little bit longer than I have this week! Todd's mom is doing much better than she was earlier this week and I hope recovery keeps going the way it has been. We're just praying that she doesn't have to go through anything so traumatic again!

Trip to California

Well Lily and I made the trek to the San Francisco Bay area last week with my parents. It was a very fun trip and a much needed time out of Utah for a few days. It was Lily's first trip out of the state and my grandpa's 80th surprise birthday bash. It was a lot of fun and a lot happened, but unfortunately I don't have all of the pictures I wanted yet so maybe in the next little while I'll be able to get a good post up!

Have you ever just looked at yourself? Stood in front of a mirror and really truly looked at yourself? I've been doing this a lot lately especially going through the journey I've been going on. I feel like my whole life I've just been looking out of rose colored glasses and now they have been ripped off with a vengeance! It's hard to look at yourself and see what is truly there, not just what you think is there. I've never thought that I was fat, because I've gone off of others' comments and spoken opinions. That wasn't very smart because everyone was just trying to be nice, which I really do appreciate looking back. I mentally see myself as I did in middle school, skinny and "healthy". I never really LOOKED at myself. I've been taking all of these classes at my gym and the room that it's held in has a huge mirror along the wall and you can't help but look at yourself as you work out. I look at myself and I look at all the other people around me and I realize what I've become. I haven't cared for so long that now that I care and can see what's there, it seems completely overwhelming! I am more in tune to what I've feeling and what I'm doing, but it's completely disheartening. I've been changing so much this past year, I feel like a completely different person. I feel like I don't know who I'm looking at anymore.

This process is the hardest thing I have ever done! I am fighting against myself. I can debate against anyone to get my way, but now I am fighting against myself, what a crappy fight! I just want to yell at the top of my lungs and just say that I have the habits that I want and I have the life that I want. It is a challenge to get up every day. It's a challenge to go to the gym. It's a challenge not to eat the cookie, hamburger, ice cream... etc. It's such a challenge that I believe I'm failing. I try to say, take each day at a time, but even that becomes too much! I have always loved how I felt when I truly live healthy, but it's remembering that when the temptation is right there in front of me. I look all around me and I see all of these people who have been very successful in losing weight. They are just shedding away, while I stay right where I am because of stupid choices. I've been working with so many WONDERFUL people trying to reach my goals but I feel as soon as I go home, I sit down, turn on the TV, and there goes another day! Why is it so hard to be active?! I hate people that watch TV all day! I've been discovering all the things I hate about other people, are the real qualities in me that I don't want to face! Why do I judge those people? It's because I don't want to look at myself so it's so much easier to just place it on someone else! Is it worth just giving up and going back to my old lifestyle? Sometimes I think that it might be... but I know in my heart that it's not, that's what makes it suck so bad!

Decoration!

Before...
After!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've had this planned out for a LONG time and I FINALLY got around doing it! I LOVE it! Can you tell I'm excited about it? hehe I think it is so stinking cute and I can't get enough of it! What do you think?!

What Lily likes to do!

Help Daddy Baby-Proof the house, I'm sure she'll regret that later...
To Color!!!!!!!!!!!! Lily LOVES to color! She always has! I tried to hide the crayons from her, but she found them and anytime she saw them she would get mad that we wouldn't give them to her. The only problem with that is she doesn't always like to color the paper... Is there anyone else's child that LOVES to color as much as she does? I have a feeling she's going to be an artist because she loves to dance too! Aww man!